Wednesday, July 26, 2017

July 17, 2017 - Chicago

Location: Pizzeria Serio
Categories: Fat Tony and his Gang, Vacations
Episodes: Bart of Darkness, Homer's Triple Bypass, Lisa's Date with Density
WinnerYou see in this case, instead of writing out their team name, this team has stamped the name of their cayman islands holding corporation on the... Hmmm. Excuse me for a minute. 
Best Team Name: You have 30 seconds to turn in your sheets. You have 10 seconds. Your sheets have been impounded. Your sheets have be crushed into a cube. You have 30 seconds to turn in your cube.


1. You see in this case, instead of writing out their team name, this team has stamped the name of their cayman islands holding corporation on the... Hmmm. Excuse me for a minute. (46.5 points)
2. The highly unpopular 75 cent team. (46 points)
3. Tibor and the Immigrants (42.5 points)
4. Pukahontas (41.5 points)
5. The best team is in the rump! (39 points)
6. Aaron, we engaged in trivia with your spouse or significant other. Now THAT'S hosting! (38.5 points)
7. Smooth Jimmy's Lock of the Week (38 points)
8. Everyone's saying "Game of Thrones" this and "Game of Thrones" that, but no one is saying "Simpsons" this, and "trivia night" that! (37 points)
9. Oh, I thought Muddy Waters wrote that team name. (35.5 points)
10. Hey there, teamy boys, flying through the sky so fancy free. (34.5 points)
11. PBR Tall Boys and dessert pizza for dinner, Aunt Helga? Is it trivia night already? Tis, replied Aunt Helga! (33.5 points)

12. A Couple of Rory Calhouns (32.5 points)
13. I've got a gut feeling Neil's around here somewhere. (31 points)
14. Hank Scorpio's Hammock Appreciation Society (29 points)
14. Tonight's Simpson's Trivia was, without a doubt, the worst trivia ever. Rest assured that I will be on the internet within minutes, registering my disgust throughout the world. (29 points)
16. You have 30 seconds to turn in your sheets. You have 10 seconds. Your sheets have been impounded. Your sheets have be crushed into a cube. You have 30 seconds to turn in your cube. (28.5 points)
17. Grammar Rodeo (27.5 points)
17. Dead White Male Bashing PC Thugs (27.5 points)
19. Moe's Car Hole (23.5 points)
20. Paint Team Name Here Tomorrow 7/17/95 (15.5 points)
21. We met at Simpsons karaoke and fell in love. (12 points)
22. Sure we'll be a sham team, but we'll the envy of every other sham team in town! (10 points) [joined another team]

Sunday, July 23, 2017

July 8, 2017 - CALGARY



Location: Dickens Pub
Episodes: Bart vs. Australia, Homer vs. Patty and Selma, Lisa's Wedding
Categories: Chief Wiggum, Canada
Winner: So, burn Simpsons Trivia if you must. But before you do, you better burn a few other things. You better burn your score sheet and pen. Be sure to burn your table and chairs, and oh yes, don't forget to burn your mugs. Because none of these things would exist without two trivia hosts, one Dickens Pub, and a hell of a lot of beer.

1. So, burn Simpsons Trivia if you must. But before you do, you better burn a few other things. You better burn your score sheet and pen. Be sure to burn your table and chairs, and oh yes, don't forget to burn your mugs. Because none of these things would exist without two trivia hosts, one Dickens Pub, and a hell of a lot of beer., 47
2. I can't believe it! I'm seeing double! FOUR SPAGHETTI DINNERS in one day!, 46.5
3. Adam and Ezra are disengenuous mountabanks with their subliminal chicanery! A pox on them!, 46
4. Fellow trivia players, prepare to be dazzled! The name of the trivia I played was Woo Hoo! Classic Simpsons Trivia. It was about these people…people with yellow skin, overbites, and liver spots on their heads. Did I mention this trivia was written by two guys named Adam and Ezra? And hosted by the good people at Dickens Pub. So, in conclusion, on the Holmes scale of 1-10, 10 being the highest, 1 being the lowest, and 5 being average, I give this trivia a 9. Any questions? No? Then I'll just sit down., 44
4. A team with a good name is kind of like the mule with the spinning wheel. He doesn't know how he got it, and danged if he knows how to use it!, 44
6. There's no Sprinklebrau…an escaped mental patient tampered with the keg., 43
7. And, for the record, there were a few Jewish cowboys. Big guys, who were great shots, and spent money freely., 41
7. Dear Adam and Ezra, I am disgusted with the way trivia contestants are depicted on television. We are not all vibrant, fun-loving sex maniacs. Many of us are bitter, resentful individuals, who remember the good old days when Simpsons Trivia was bland and inoffensive. The following is a list of words that I never want to hear at Simpsons Trivia again: 1. Wrong answer. 2. Last Place. 3. Family jewels., 41
9. If you don't cut it as trivia hosts, you can always fall back on your degree in…COMMUNICATIONS?!, 39
10. Born to Runner Up, 37
10. Seymour Butts, 37
12. Stupid teams need the most attention!, 36
13. Stupid Sexy Flanders, 35
14. A team embiggened by its cromulence, 34
15. Team Üter, 27

Wednesday, July 12, 2017

July 11th, 2017 - Toronto


Location : Cadillac Lounge
Categories : Kent Brockman, Oh! Canada!
Episodes : Itchy and Scratchy Land, Boy Scoutz in Da Hood, Krusty Gets Kancelled
Winners : Matt Smith Says Chris Will Crack Any Minute Purple Monkey Dishwasher
Matt Smith Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Team Naming :
The Review "Team Enjoyed By All" Speaks For Itself


1.Matt Smith Says Chris Will Crack Any Minute Purple Monkey Dishwasher - 47 pts
2. Kwik-E-Mart Gougers - 46 pts
3. The Neglecterinos - 45 pts
4. The Nelsons ft. (Not Pictured, Mrs. Eisenhower) - 43 pts
5. Colonel Dracula Joins the Trivia Team! - 42 pts
6. Our Team Only Has Nescafe. We're Very Very Sorry. - 41.5 pts
7. It Doesn't Matter What Our Name is, You Idiot! - 40 pts
8. Dear Ms. Brazeau, There are Too Many Teams These Days. Please Eliminate Three. We Are Not Crackpots - 39.5 pts
9. The Frogurt is Also Cursed - 39 pts
10. Uosdwis R Dewoh - 38.5 pts
11. Two Bad Neighbors - 38 pts
12. Hard Work Made Us Quit - 37 pts
13. Champions of Winning Superb 36 pts
14. This So Called "Simpsons Trivia" is Nothing More Than a Bunch of Weird Rituals Designed to Take Away the Money of Fools - 35.5 pts
15. 3 Naked 8-Year Olds Who Are Married - 34.5 pts
16. Oooh, They Question Answers Good - 33.5 pts
16. Pimps and CHUDs - 33.5 pts
16. The Review "Team Enjoyed By All" Speaks For Itself - 33.5 pts
16. We're Not Gay, But We'll Learn - 33.5 pts
20. The Darryl Strawberrys - 33 pts
21. Hey Chris, Your Epidemis is Showing! - 32 pts
21. The Hammock District - 32 pts
23.The Team That Couldn't Slow Down - 31.5 pts
24. The Maison Derrieres - 28.5 pts
25. The Sandal-Wearing Goldfish Tenders - 28 pts
26. Remember When I Went to That Trivia Night and Forgot How to Drive? - 26.5 pts
26. The Yarrest Simpsons Trivia-Goin' Team There Be - 26.5 pts
28. The Team That Lives Above a Bowling Alley and Below Another Bowling Alley - 25.5 pts
28. Trabampoline! - 25.5 pts
30. Go Banana! - 24 pts
31. Iron Helps Us Play! - 22.5 pts
32. Allied Biscuit - 22 pts
33. Worker and Parasite - 21.5 pts
34. Wasteman - 21 pts
35. The "Shake Harder" Boys! - 20 pts
36. The Nye Mets - 19 pts
37. Caucus! Caucus! Caucus! - 16.5 pts
37. Milpool - 16.5 pts
39. Pressed Peanut Sweepings - 16 pts
40. Egg Advisory Council - 12.5 pts
41. What the Hell is This... Some Kind of Tube!? - 5.5 pts

Friday, July 7, 2017

June 19, 2017 - Chicago

Location: Pizzeria Serio
Categories: Apu, Fatherhood
Episodes: Lemon of Troy, Saturdays of Thunder, Sweet Seymour Skinner's Baadasssss Song
Winner: The Erotic Awakening of This Team 
Best Team Name: Could You Explain Your Team Name, Young Man? "Well, Basically I Just Copied An Old         Name From Blogspot. Then I Added a Pizzeria Serio Reference To Make It Sound Original.                                          And This Racing Stripe Here I Feel Is Pretty Sharp

1. The Erotic Awakening of This Team (49.5 points)
2. I Don't Care What Excuse You've Got. Nothing's Going to Stop Me in the Middle of Reading This Team Name.        You're Going to … Lemon Tree?! (45 points)
3. Team Discovery Channel (42.5 points)
4. Lepers in the Backfield (42 points)
4. Are You Saying Woo Hoo Classic Simpsons Trivia or Woo-Urns? (42 points)
6. No One Is Assured a Spot To Host  Trivia! I Don't Care If Your Name is Warren or Aaron or (Quick, What's One      of the Bad Host's Names?) or Neil Arsenty! (41 points)
7. "A Drawing of Dignity" (40.5 points)
7. Ayn Rand's School For Tots (40.5 points)
9. Why Does Our Team Name Have To Be Zany? (40 points)
9. Brown. Did You Hear That Simpsons Trivia People? Brown! (40 points)
11. I Moved Here From Wrigleyville and They Think I'm Slow, Eh? (38.5 points)
12. "Chicago, Your Trivia Hosts Are No More… Than a Pair of Ill-Bred Troublemakers." "Warren too?" "Especially       Warren. But Especially Aaron!" (36.5 points)
13. The Finger Thing Means The Taxes! (36 points)
13. United Steelworkers of America Parade (36 points)
15. Could You Explain Your Team Name, Young Man? "Well, Basically I Just Copied An Old Name From                         Blogspot. Then I Added a Pizzeria Serio Reference To Make It Sound Original. And This Racing Stripe Here I         Feel Is Pretty Sharp (35 points)
16. Before We Joined Simpsons Trivia We Didn't Even Know What A Nuclear Panner Plant Was! (34.5 points)
17. I Didn't Think He Was Going To Ask Any Questions About "Moon River" But Bam! Second Round! (34 points)
18. The I Didn't Do It Dancers (32.5 points)
18. Poor Predictable Trivia Team. Always Picks Rock. (32.5 points)
20. That Was Some Good Corn (32 points)
21. I've Got To Stop Fantasizing About Trivia Hosts (31 points)
21. A Rare Photo of Sean Connery Signed By Roger Moore (31 points)
23. The Dialing Wands (29.5 points)
23. AFL/CIO Chairman George Meaney (29.5 points)
25. And Here Comes the Pretzels! (29 points)
25. Two Naked Eight Year Olds Who Are Married (29 points)
27. Tis No Trivia Team. Tis a Remorseless Eating Machine! (28.5 points)
28. Older, Balder, Fatter Sons (28 points)
29. Stacycon '94 (27.5 points)
29. The Suckiest Bunch of Sucks That Ever Sucked (27.5 points)
31. Note:By Reading This Team Name Out Loud You Have Declared Us Winners Into Perpetuity Throughout the         Universe (26.5 points)
32. Good Team Names Don't End in "Eum." They End in "-Teria" and "-Mania" (25 points)
33. Groin Grabbingly Good Team (23.5 points)
34. Oh No, The Corn! Warren and Aaron Are Going To Have My Legs Broke! (23 points)
35. Milpool (22.5 points)
36. Contingency Fee? No, Money Down! (20.5 points)
37. My Eyes! The Beer Goggles Do Nothing! (12.5 points)
38. Stupid, Sexy Flanders (8 points)