January 22nd, 2018 - Chicago

Location: Pizzeria Serio

Categories: Otto, Politics

Episodes: Duffless, Lisa on Ice, Mountain of Madness

Winner:  Please Ask This Team To Kill For You

Best Team Name: Otto Mann, You're Drinking Malort? Oh, I Wish. Jeppson's Malort's Top of The Line. This Is Just Osco Brand Herbal Liquer. Why Don't You Have Some of Mine? Oh ho! Malort! Somebody Up There Likes Me! (Otto Drinks Malort) Uhhewwww

1.  Please Ask This Team To Kill For You - 48.5 pts

2. We Were Collecting Canned Goods For The Starving People In, Uh, You Know, One Of Them Shithole Countries - 43 pts

3. Why Do You Think I Brought You To All Those Simpsons Trivia Events?! For Fun?! I Didn't Hear Anybody Laughing! Did You?! -  41 pts

4. Scum, Freezebag! - 39 pts

5. We The Purple - 38 pts

6. Just Miles From Your Doorstep, Hundreds of People Are Given Pizza And Trained To Answer Questions. The Government Calls It The Army. A More Alarmist Name Would Be The WooHoo Classic Simpsons Trivia - 37 pts

7. Wait a minute… There's Something Bothering Me About This Event. I Know! This Women's March Doesn't Have a Fire Exit! Enjoy Your Death Trap Ladies! - 36 pts

8. The Team With Mittens Pinned To Their Jackets All Year Round - 35.5 pts

9. We're A Trivia Team. It's Uter-Us, Not Uter-You - 33 pts

10. Fatal Discharge - 32 pts

11. Otto Mann, You're Drinking Malort? Oh, I Wish. Jeppson's Malort's Top of The Line. This Is Just Osco Brand Herbal Liquer. Why Don't You Have Some of Mine? Oh ho! Malort! Somebody Up There Likes Me! (Otto Drinks Malort) Uhhewwww - 31 pts

12. Selma, Warren is Fantastic! He's Everywhere You Want To Be. Welcome to Your New Pizzeria, Baby! It's Fantastic… Simpsons Trivia is Monday. If You Want To Throw Out a Team Name, You Have to Put In a Reference - 30 pts

12. Our Name Is Mr. Burns. Okay, Mr. Burns. What's Your Team Name?... I Don't Know - 30 pts

14. No Trivia! Only Khlav Khalash! - 29.5 pts

15. Team After Team of Ugly, Ugly Children - 28 pts

16. Premium! Dudes! - 26 pts

16. Don't Cry For Me. I'm Already Dead - 26 pts

18. Quiet Trivia Teamsters Need Their Sleep (Picture of Sleeping Guy) - 23.5 pts

18. Yes! Crisitunity! -  23.5 pts

20. It Seems Like People Keep Going To Pizzeria Serio. "Oohh la de da" Mr. Fancy Man With His "Pizza" What Do You Call It? Pie Hole. - 19 pts

21. White Hot Grease Fires Of Pure Entertainment - 13.5 pts

December 11th, 2017 - Chicago

Location: Pizzeria Serio

Categories: Grampa, Religion

Episodes: Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire, Marge Be Not Proud, Miracle on Evergreen Terrace

Winner: Did You Know That Bitcoin Was Up Four Hundred Percent For The Year 2017? If These Trends Continue… AAYYY!

Best Team Name: I've Had Plenty Of Teams Come After Me And I've Buried Them All! Sex Cauldron, Suckiest Bunch Of Sucks. Joey Bishop. Don't Forget Team Discovery Channel. Oh Yeah. I Slaughtered Team Discovery Channel.

1.  Did You Know That Bitcoin Was Up Four Hundred Percent For The Year 2017? If These Trends Continue… AAYYY! - 45 pts

2. Hams Steaming On An Open Fire - 41 pts

3. Holy Smokes! This Team Needs Booze! - 40.5 pts

4. We Stole Answers From That Borgnine Guy - 39 pts

4. Pizzeria Serio! Ten Times More Addictive Than Marijuana. To Human Misery! - 39 pts

6. Christmas Ape Goes To Trivia - 36 pts

6. Writhing Funzos On This Team Makes Me Happy, Makes Me Want To Scream - 36.5 pts

8. Your Infatuation Is Based On A Physical Attraction. Talk To Warren And You'll Realize You Have Nothing In Common - 35.5 pts

9. The Best Team's In The Rump - 34.5 pts

10. Those Egg Council Creeps - 32 pts

11. I've Had Plenty Of Teams Come After Me And I've Buried Them All! Sex Cauldron, Suckiest Bunch Of Sucks. Joey Bishop. Don't Forget Team Discovery Channel. Oh Yeah. I Slaughtered Team Discovery Channel. - 30 pts

12. Two Bad Teammates (Drawing of Homer and Bart) - 29 pts

12. Works On Contingency? No, Money Down! - 29 pts

14. The Writhing Funzos - 26 pts

15. Whatchu Talking About Aaron and Warren? Suckers. I Knew Exactly What They Were Talking 'Bout - 25 pts

15. The Team With Bees In Their Mouth And When They Bark They Shoot Bees At You? - 25 pts

17. Fifteen Dollars All-You-Can-Eat Vaseline On Toast - 17.5 pts

18. Shove This Up Your Stocking- 14.5 pts

January 23, 2018 - Kitchener-Waterloo

Location : The Jazz Room
Categories : Mayor Quimby, Advertisements
Episodes : Lisa the Greek, A Star is Burns, You Only Move Twice
Winners : Stupid Sexy Patrick
Best Team Name : Teamed Hams

1. Stupid Sexy Patrick - 48.5 pts
2. Rowdy Roddy Peepers - 45.5 pts
3. Banana - 44 pts
4. The Fool's Tar-Tar Sauce - 42.5 pts
5. All the Kids at Trivia are S.O.B.s - 39.5 pts
6. In the Plow King's hot tub with Linda Rondstadt - 35.5 pts
7. Teamed Hams - 33 pts
8. Das Ist Not Eine Booby! - 32 pts
9. The Contrabulous Fabtraption of Professor Horatio Hufnagel - 31.5 pts
10. Go ahead first place team...enjoy your donuts. Little do you know you're drawing every closer to the poison donut - 30.5 pts
11. Armin's Copy of Swank - 30 pts
12. Christmas Ape Goes to Summer Camp - 27.5 pts
13. Team Discovery Channel - 22.5 pts
14. I will not choose an inappropriate team name. I will not choose an inappropriate team name.* - 10 pts


*Written on blackboard

January 13, 2018 - Calgary

Location: Dickens Pub

Categories: Squeaky-voiced teen, Simpsons Pictionary

Episodes: Homer Badman, Bart's Girlfriend, Sideshow Bob Roberts

Winner: Mr. Trump, we object to the term "urine-soaked shithole" when you could have said "pee-pee-soaked poop hole".

1 Mr. Trump, we object to the term "urine-soaked shithole" when you could have said "pee-pee-soaked poop hole". 48

2 Sure, our team is working hard at Simpsons Trivia, but we're also branching out into other efforts: Literacy programs, preserving our beloved covered bridges, world domination... oh wait, that's a typo. Mental note: Adam knows too much. 47.5

3 Okay, here's what we've got: the Adam Corporation, in conjunction with the Shaya People, under the supervision of the reverse vampires, are forcing our teams to compete in mindless Simpsons Trivia in a fiendish plot to eliminate the meal of dinner! We're through the looking glass, here, people. 46.5

4 Son, when you play Simpsons Trivia, it's not whether you win or lose. It's how drunk you get. 45

5 Hans Moleman Productions presents: Man & Man & Man & Woman & Woman & Woman Getting Hit By Football 43

6 Are Poo and Ass Taken? 42

7 Sex Farm for Sex Hookers 40.5

8 The sensitive, yet unfortunately-titled trivia team Pukahontas 39.5

9 Well, kids, we all know that sometimes trivia hosts quit, and they're back again the very next week. That's why I'm presenting this sworn affidavit that Ezra will never, ever, ever return! 39

10 Simpsons Trivia gives us eerie sexual powers 37.5

11 Springfield Heights Institute of Trivia 37

12 Dear trivia hosts, as I write this, I am very sad. Our team has been overthrown and REPLACED. BY THE BENEVOLENT GENERAL KRULL. ALL HAIL KRULL, AND HIS GLORIOUS NEW REGIME. SINCERELY, TRIVIA TEAM. 35.5

13 Tonight on Eye on Springfield, a look at the local event that was called distasteful and puerile by a panel of hillbillies: Simpsons Trivia! In a tradition that dates back to founding fathers Adam and Ezra The Quitter, eveery month, local residents gather to drive trivia contestants into the centre of Dickens Pub and whack them to Snake Heaven. 34

14 Hollywood Upstairs Medical College 34

15 Team Magaggie 34

16 The Sweet, Sweet Cans 30.5

17 Crab Juice 29.5

18 Our trivia host has a first name, it's F-R-I-T-Z, our trivia host has a second name, it's S-C-H-N-A-C-K-E-N-P-F-E-F-F-E-R-H-A-U-S-E-N 27

19 Corey, story, Maury, allegory, Montessori, category, salutory... 24.5

20 Formerly Known as Chuck's 10

21 Flaming Moes 6.5

January 17, 2018 - Indianapolis

Location: Tappers Arcade Bar

Categories: Football, Starring Troy McClure

Episodes: Homer Badman, Much Apu About Nothing

Winner: Team Discovery Channel

1: Team Discovery Channel - 44

2: Honor Rollers - 41

3: Say Hello to Miguel Sanchez! - 34

4: In Your Face, Space Coyote! - 31

5: Big Book of British Smiles - 24

6: We are Lugash! - 23

6: Kwik-E-Smrts - 23

8: Stupid Sexy Flanders - 15

January 9, 2018 - St. Catharines

Location: Honest Lawyer - St. Catharines
Episodes:  Bart of Darkness, Lisa's Rival, Another Simpsons Clip Show

Winner: We're A Lonely Insignificant Team In A Has Been Restaurant Orbited By A Cold Indifferent Trivia Host.
Winner Best Team Name:  The Trivia Team That Realized They Were No Longer Little Girls...The Were Little Women.

1. We're A Lonely Insignificant Team In A Has Been 

Restaurant Orbited By A Cold Indifferent Trivia Host       47.5

2. You Never Pick Our Trivia Name, So The Lesson 

Is...Never Try                                                                      47

3. Gerry's Gonna Smell Like Hot Dogs                                  43.5

4. The Trivia Team That Realized They Were No 

Longer Little Girls...The Were Little Women                     42.5

5. Gerry, You Shouldn't Have Stopped For That Haircut    40.5

6. Stupid Sexy Trivia Host                                                   40

7. Alf, In Pog Form                                                              38.5

8. Go Banana                                                                      36

9. Trivia Or Crab Juice                                                        35.5

10. Why Do You Thnk I Took You To All Those Police 

Academy Movies...For Fun?!                                              35

11. Nuts and Gum...Together At Last!                                 34.5

12. Team Discovery Channel                                              32.5

13.  Faceless Slugs                                                             30

14. If We Don't Win Simpsons Trivia We Will Be Banned

Along With Our Children, And Our Children's Children...

For Three Months.                                                               28.5

15. You'll Have To Speak Up, I'm Wearing A Towel             23.5

January 2, 2018 - Hamilton

Location:  Honest Lawyer on the Mountain, Hamilton
Episodes: Homer Badman, Grandpa vs. Sexual Inadequacy, Fear of Flying

Round Theme:  Ralph Wiggum
Winner: The Contrabulous Faptraption of Professor Horation Huffnagel 
Winner Best Team Name:  To A Whale Of A Host

1. The Contrabulous Faptraption of Professor
Horation Huffnagel                                                      44.5         

2. Remember 'Here Come The Pretzels'?  We're 
Back, In Pog Form.                                                     38.5

3. Are Poo And Ass Already Taken?                           35.5

4. Honk If You're Horny                                                 34

5. The Boogeyman or Boogeymen In The House       32

5. The I Didn't Do It Dancers                                       32

7. Cyanide, A Loving Tribute To Poison (We Need
A Ride Home)                                                             31.5

8. Put It In 'H'!                                                             28

9. The Suckiest Bunch Of Sucks Who Ever Sucked      28                         

10. To A Whale Of A Host                                           21

11. The TEam You Have Dialed Can No Longer Be
Reached From This Mic.  You. Negligent. Monster.    20.5

12. No Team Name...Only Khlav Kalash                     18.5

13. Buck Henderson:  Union Buster                            16

Toronto - January 2018

Location : Cadillac Lounge
Categories : Troy McClure, Parties
Episodes : I Married Marge, Lisa's First Word, And Maggie Makes Three
Winners : Sex Cauldron
Matt Smith Award for Outstanding Achievement in the Field of Team Naming : We've Learned That Simpsons Trivia is One Crushing Defeat After Another Until You Just Wish Matt Smith is Dead

* Does your team's score seem low? You may have forgotten to hand in all your team sheets! Remember to do so at the end of each round! *

1. Sex Cauldron - 44.5 pts
2. Kwik E Mart Gougers: Champions of Winning, Superb! - 43 pts
2. Old Grey Team She AIn't What She Used to Be - 43 pts
2. We've Learned That Simpsons Trivia is One Crushing Defeat After Another Until You Just Wish Matt Smith is Dead - 43 pts
5. Did You Know Every Good Trivia Team is at Heart an Erotic Trivia Team? - 41 pts
5. We Should Call This Team "Johnny Deformed" - 41 pts
7. If Horseracing is the Sport of Kings, Then Surely Trivia is a... Very Good Sport as Well! - 40.5 pts
8. Tabletime and Allied Biscuit - 38 pts
9. Doesn't That Team Seem a Little... Festive To You? - 37.5 pts
10. As For Your Grandma, She Shouldn't Have Mouthed Off Like That - 37 pts
10. Krusty Tromboners - 37 pts
12. Our Names are Nick, Hayley, Marsha, Chris, Eric, and Ben... Drinking Has Ruined Our Lives... We're 31 Years Old! - 35.5 pts
13. Joey Joe-Joe Jr. Shabadu - 35 pts
14. The Magaggies - 33.5 pts
14. We Have No Business Being a Trivia Team. We're Leaving the Trivia Business to All the Other Trivia Teams in the Trivia Business - 33.5 pts
16. Kruddler! - 32.5 pts
17. I'm a Stupid Moron With An Ugly Face and a Big Butt and My Butt Smells and I Like to Kiss My Own Butt - 30 pts
17. They're Gonna Take My Thumbs, Marge! - 30 pts
19. The Lovematic Grampas - 29 pts
20. Go Banana! - 27.5 pts
21. Homer? Who is Homer? My Name is Guy Incognito. - 27 pts
21. Loafers Formerly Known as Gophers - 27 pts
23. Iron Helps Us Play! - 26.5 pts
24. A Bunch of Rory Calhouns - 26 pts
24. This Team is a Part of Us All, A Part of Us All, A Part of Us All - 26 pts
26. The Attractive Cousins - 24 pts
27. Discovery Channel - 23 pts
27. Premium Answer Question 100% - 23 pts
29. 9 Misfortunes - 21.5 pts
30. Our Country Isn't Called Trivia Anymore, It's Bonerland - 20.5 pts
30. Team Planet Express (Formerly Team Discovery Channel) - 20.5 pts
32. Team Discovery Channel - 20 pts
33. Uncle Moe's Family Feedbag - 18.5 pts
34. Eat My Slacks - 18 pts
35. The Team Whose Name You'd Love to Touch... But You Mustn't Touch! - 17 pts
36. The Nahasapeemapetilons - 6 pts